"You're my disease; All I need"

I was just listening to the Collective Soul song, Untitled, and caught that line: "You're my disease, all I need".

Do I really believe that? It seems like when my disease is at its worst, then I DO believe that. I watch myself push everyone away. I am in my 5th day of relapse. Again today I binged and purged. I left my friends, I left my family, and I shunned my boyfriend. Why? To go home and be in "peace" as I self destruct. Terrible.

I want to be free. I want to be free of this disease and everything that comes with it. I want to be free of all addiction. Is it possible? How do I save myself from myself. I can't, and I know this.

God, or my higher power...can save me. I need to let him in. I need to let him.