I have been good the last two days. At least in the eating disorder standards. I haven't eaten anything I am not supposed to, and I have kept everything down! Good job! ::pats self on back::
My legs are killing me from a hard core circuit class I did at the gym. I can't wait to go back! Serious hour of sweaty self punishment that keeps my from bingeing and purging because I don't dare over eat calories after that much work.
The relationship is going...well, if just keeps going. I am not sure where we are right now. Some kind of limbo. I am having a lot of trouble imagining moving next year with someone. Part of me really wants to experience college alone. I haven't been single for almost 10 years!! Wow. That is a long time to be spread across 5 boyfriends and countless lovers. I miss playing the field, but I really do enjoy a constant companion. I never really got companionship from a girlfriend, so I am hoping to make some friends in college that I can depend on. Then I won't feel the need to have a boyfriend.
I am trying really hard to stay in the moment, and concentrate, but with winter coming (and depression coming) I want to move farther south NOW! I have to keep reminding myself make today great, and tomorrow will follow.
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Don't run away, face your challenges. The winter is always a hard challenge! Especially in northern spheres. You have to believe in yourself.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever heard about Isha Judd? She is my newest inspiration. Love yourself. You don't need someone else, because you have yourself. Put yourself first, especially in times of recovery. It is such a struggle and you face so many ups and downs.
I know, I am good in giving advices, while not really capable of finally changing things for myself. Well, but today I am positive. I can do it and I will :)
Keep believing.
Stay string.
Fight.
<3
*stay strong :) not string at all :)
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