Thank You, God

I am feeling good! Very happy. But I am a little suspicious...

I won't have a job in January. That means, no insurance. Which = no thereapy, and no meds.
I won't be ablet to afford my anti-depressants. Kinda scary!

So I am forced to ask myself, "Have I been happy lately because the medicine is doing its job, or is my attitude changing?".

I hope it is the latter, because I am going to have to ween off these meds during the most awful, cold, bleak, nasty, dreaded time of the year. The holidays + winter cold = depression and suicidal thoughts + bingeing/purging tempatations EVERYWHERE.

But I am not scared. I believe in myself. Today, looking back on the last year since my nervous break, I have made leaps and bounds. I actually care about myself today. I am still worried about my image (weight) but I have not been running to the toilet, bingeing or purging for 3 weeks. That is a blessing.

Thank God for all of my blessings. I am so humbled and thankful today. =)